Should it be a boy or a girl?

Hello there. It’s time for an update.

And today’s update is about the script. The second draft is now online with some new additions and corrections. Another new thing is that we have now switched to an online screenwriting app, called Writers Duet. You will now have to log in to get access to the script, but it will be in proper screenplay formatting all along, and there are several tricks and tools in this app not available in Google Docs. Read the Waking Up second draft HERE.

The most significant addition is that I have added a boy. Or maybe it should be a girl? Read on and judge for yourself and feel free to give your opinion in the comments. It goes without saying that there are spoilers ahead. Oups, guess I said it.

The boy in question is the one who ‘saves the world’ with the help of the protagonist, Ben. What happens is this:  After Ben has been to Peter’s base and comes back to Aweena and society again, he meets Amo, right? He learns that Amo is his daughter, but that’s not all. He also meets his great grand son, Jonas. Jonas is somewhat of a computer nerd and his biggest dream is to be a part of the GPT, the Global Protection Team.

In the scenes 62-64 you can read how Ben’s meeting with Jonas plays out.

Then, when Peter sets in motion his first wave of attacks, Ben calls Jonas (scenes 84 and out) and brings him to Peter’s base, where it is Jonas, and not some random guy (girl?) that comes up with the Ol’ McDonald sing and dance program that overrides Peter’s control over the DC39s.

Now, I’ve been wondering if Jonas should be a girl, and the roles of Jonas and his sister in the 62-64 scenes should be opposite. We could call Jonas’ sister for Josephine. If the switch is made, it would be Josephine (Ben’s great grand daughter) that is the ‘computer nerd’ that ‘saves the world’ instead of Jonas. And instead of Josephine printing out yet another blouse, it would be Jonas printing out yet another shirt, turning the gender roles a bit upside down.

Read through the scenes (preferably the whole script…) and tell me what you think! Not only of the boy/girl question, but of the whole script if you like, including overall gender representation, in regards to power characters, talent characters, leadership roles, etc.

This is the second draft, and a third, fourth and probably fifth (and maybe sixth?) draft will come until we have a shooting draft. So hang in there and stay tuned!

Oh, and if you want to see this movie come to fruition some day, please share this with your friends. Thanks!

PS. There were some trouble with the Writer Duet link, but that is fixed now. The new link is updated in the article and on the front page. Here’s the link for the script:

28 comments to “Should it be a boy or a girl?”
  1. I was surprised to find this discussion thread and project this evening. Since 2009, after also being inspired (and shattered) by the first two Zeitgeist Films, I have been working on a story myself, about a money-free culture in the future. After reading your synopsis, I find my approach to be quite different than yours. I have discovered a plausible way of reaching the new world, and developed an extensive backstory explaining how it started. My story deals with duality as an over all theme. Without revealing too much, I address the themes of technology vs. spirituality. I’ve found a way to create conflict in the new world, quite different than your idea. I’m not sure if my project will work best as a graphic novel or a film quite yet. My goal is also to show people what the world COULD be. I guess I’m just saying hello, and best of luck. I appreciate and respect what you are trying to do. My project is not open source like yours. If you see a novel, graphic novel, or film emerge in the coming years about a money free world and spiritual machines, it will probably be mine, and rest assured it has developed as its own self contained story and has nothing to do with yours. I’m just giving you some positivity and encouragement, as a fellow futurist and hopeful champion for the potential of humanity. 🙂 Keep on pushing.

  2. Take a look at Bechdel
    test. Its to easy to unknowingly only choose women if the role is about
    being a women, and default to man for everything else.

    up the lines in the script. Remove all lines from scense that include
    something about romance or talk about romance or relations. Make sure
    that remaining lines ar equally divided boy/girl.

    Or try to flip the sex of all persons in the script and explore the diffrence.

    • I can tell you right away that there are not many lines about romance in the script. Off the top of my head I can only remember maximum 10-20 out of over 5000 lines… You can find statistics in the script on a button in the menu. I added a screen grab of the stats here.

      That said, the simple definition of a Bechdel test is this:
      “For a movie to pass The Bechdel Test, it must contain just one thing – a scene in which two or more named female characters have a conversation (that is, back and forth dialogue) about anything at all besides men. Anything, even if it’s something stereotypically feminine, like shopping or shoes. It could be about dog poo. It doesn’t matter.

      And honestly, at the moment, I can’t from the top of my head find any scene that this happens in a great extent. If that is true, it shall definitely be amended!! 🙂

  3. Sorry, don’t have much feelings regarding “male or female.” My humble recommendation is to achieve gender balance (overall representation, power characters, talent characters, leadership roles, etc….) Thanks

    • Yes! Good observation. That is the underlying motive of this article, exactly, to discuss those issues. Maybe Jonas is gay? And his sister Josephine is the computer nerd that ‘saves the world’? This is just an example of the gender balance of the whole movie.

      If you have concrete suggestions in the regards of gender balance (as you said: overall representation, power characters, talent characters, leadership roles, etc….), please share. Yes, it would mean you have to read the whole script and analyse it to do that.

      To make it a bit easier, I here’s a list of the main characters:

      Ben – protagonist
      Peter – antagonist
      Simon – another wake-up
      Brett – Aweena’s ‘boyfriend’
      Jonas (?) – Ben’s great grand son

      Aweena – Ben’s guide
      Amo – Ben’s daughter

      It looks like there is a male gender overweight. Simon and Brett doesn’t appear as much, but still.

  4. When I try to open the link: “You do not have permission to access that script – if it’s a collaboration, ask the owner for a guest URL”

  5. (I’m not that well-read on the script but you’ve walked through it for me once)

    My immediate thought is that it might be weird if all (or too many) of the “Future people” are female while all the “old people” from present are males. However, I think that there should be a fairly equal distribution of females and males. It might however create a stronger notion of teams/sides which is something you don’t want at the end.

      • So you might be in a situation where it would need more females, but there’s no place that’s good to stick one in. Maybe you’ll need to revise the gender of someone else. So far it seems that the males in the script are the ones who act and the females are more passive. It’s easy to make it like that because of how our cultural perception of gender roles. I’m not saying that it’s necessary a good idea, but maybe think about the possibility of example Peter being a woman instead. Could it work? Why? Why Not?

        • I was thinking more that a female in a positive role would be needed… It’s always the male that ‘save the world’. And the character ‘Josephine’ is not a bad place to ‘stick one in’ I think.

          • Yes I agree and understand that. But then maybe you need to change the gender of someone else amongst the “future people”. Or have another side character that’s male to equal it out. I don’t have a solution unfortunately but I know that it’s easy to get stuck on one “track” when you’ve got sufficiently deep into a project so I’m just trying to give an outsiders perspective and broaden the view. 🙂 Nothing of what I say however has to be good ideas.

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